I have seen several in my time. What I have observed about soul mates is that there is a palpable energy in the room when in the presence of that deeper committed connection between two people. This does not mean that the soul mate couple has an easy time of it. It does not mean that they do not have to face many of the same life struggles that others have. One couple, that left an indelible impression in my memory bank, was celebrating their thirtieth anniversary. These were two people who were teachers by trade and who also recovered from alcoholism together. Watching how they touched each other, looked at each other, seemed to communicate without saying a word, and the way they were clearly more conscious of each other than the rest of us left me in awe of what they managed to create in their lifetime.
From my observation it is an experience that only two people who choose over time to live in awareness of the wellness of their relationship… can grow into. Power struggling, that seems to be so prevalent in so many relationships, is minimal to absent and what is present is a respect and honoring of the other. Soul mates are not threatened by the influence of the other, so they are also more capable of making the best decisions for the partnership, the family, or for themselves as an individual.
Many couples mistake the feelings of infatuation, present in the beginning of all relationships, as being a sign that they are soul mates. While having those feelings is exciting; a true soul mate relationship takes time and is mindfully (consciously) cultivated by such choices as noticing and caring about your loved ones needs and desires as much as you pay attention to your own. It is bringing awareness, honesty, and responsibility to the partnership. When a partner makes a loving choice, even though they may not feel very loving, they are acting in the service of their relationship. They are acting towards a goal of eventually becoming soul mates. The truly successful couples, the ones that become soul mates, have a willingness to learn how to navigate through life’s ups and downs. When I have a couple come into my office and I hear them use the phrase; “I know a relationship takes work and I’m willing to do that work.” Then I know they have a very good start.
What acts of love have you given your partner today?